SMALL GROUP STARTER KIT

A LifeGuide® Bible Study

SMALL GROUP STARTER KIT

6 STUDIES FOR NEW GROUPS

Jeff Arnold

With Notes for Leaders

!An imprint of InterVarsity Press
Downers Grove, Illinois

InterVarsity Press
P.O. Box 1400, Downers Grove, IL 60515-1426
World Wide Web: www.ivpress.com
E-mail: email@ivpress.com

©1995 by Jeffrey Arnold

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from InterVarsity Press.

InterVarsity Press® is the book-publishing division of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA®, a student movement active on campus at hundreds of universities, colleges and schools of nursing in the United States of America, and a member movement of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students. For information about local and regional activities, write Public Relations Dept., InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, 6400 Schroeder Rd., P.O. Box 7895, Madison, WI 53707-7895, or visit the IVCF website at <www.intervarsity.org>.

LifeGuide® is a registered trademark of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

Cover image: Robert Lerich/iStockphoto

ISBN 978-0-8308-1073-4

Contents

Getting the Most from LifeGuide® Bible Studies

Introducing Small Group Starter Kit

  1 Why Small Groups?
  Acts 2:42–47

  2 A Relationship-Building Community
  Mark 10:35–45

  3 A Growing Community
  Psalm 1

  4 An Outreaching Community
  John 4:4–38

  5 A Connected Community
  1 Corinthians 12:12–26

  6 A Covenanting Community
  Exodus 19:3–8; 20:1–21

Leader’s Notes

Getting the Most from LifeGuide® Bible Studies

Many of us long to fill our minds and our lives with Scripture. We desire to be transformed by its message. LifeGuide® Bible Studies are designed to be an exciting and challenging way to do just that. They help us to be guided by God’s Word in every area of life.

How They Work

LifeGuides have a number of distinctive features. Perhaps the most important is that they are inductive rather than deductive. In other words, they lead us to discover what the Bible says rather than simply telling us what it says.
They are also thought-provoking. They help us to think about the meaning of the passage so that we can truly understand what the author is saying. The questions require more than one-word answers.
The studies are personal. Questions expose us to the promises, assurances, exhortations and challenges of God’s Word. They are designed to allow the Scriptures to renew our minds so that we can be transformed by the Spirit of God. This is the ultimate goal of all Bible study.
The studies are versatile. They are designed for student, neighborhood and church groups. They are also effective for individual study.

How They’re Put Together

LifeGuides also have a distinctive format. Each study need take no more than forty-five minutes in a group setting or thirty minutes in in personal study—unless you choose to take more time.
The studies can be used within a quarter system in a church and fit well in a semester or trimester system on a college campus. If a guide has more than thirteen studies, it is divided into two or occasionally three parts of approximately twelve studies each.
LifeGuides use a workbook format. Space is provided for writing answers to each question. This is ideal for personal study and allows group members to prepare in advance for the discussion.
The studies also contain leader’s notes. They show how to lead a group discussion, provide additional background information on certain questions, give helpful tips on group dynamics and suggest ways to deal with problems which may arise during the discussion. With such helps, someone with little or no experience can lead an effective study.

Suggestions for Individual Study

1. As you begin each study, pray that God will help you to understand and apply the passage to your life.
2. Read and reread the assigned Bible passage to familiarize yourself with what the author is saying. In the case of book studies, you may want to read through the entire book prior to the first study. This will give you a helpful overview of its contents.
3. A good modern translation of the Bible, rather than the King James Version or a paraphrase, will give you the most help. The New International Version, the New American Standard Bible and the Revised Standard Version are all recommended. However, the questions in this guide are based on the New International Version.
4. Write your answers in the space provided in the study guide. This will help you to express your understanding of the passage clearly.
5. It might be good to have a Bible dictionary handy. Use it to look up any unfamiliar words, names or places.

Suggestions for Group Study

1. Come to the study prepared. Follow the suggestions for individual study mentioned above. You will find that careful preparation will greatly enrich your time spent in group discussion.
2. Be willing to participate in the discussion. The leader of your group will not be lecturing. Instead, he or she will be encouraging the members of the group to discuss what they have learned from the passage. The leader will be asking the questions that are found in this guide. Plan to share what God has taught you in your individual study.
3. Stick to the passage being studied. Your answers should be based on the verses which are the focus of the discussion and not on outside authorities such as commentaries or speakers. This guide deliberately avoids jumping from book to book or passage to passage. Each study focuses on only one passage. Book studies are generally designed to lead you through the book in the order in which it was written. This will help you follow the author’s argument.
4. Be sensitive to the other members of the group. Listen attentively when they share what they have learned. You may be surprised by their insights! Link what you say to the comments of others so the group stays on the topic. Also, be affirming whenever you can. This will encourage some of the more hesitant members of the group to participate.
5. Be careful not to dominate the discussion. We are sometimes so eager to share what we have learned that we leave too little opportunity for others to respond. By all means participate! But allow others to also.
6. Expect God to teach you through the passage being discussed and through the other members of the group. Pray that you will have an enjoyable and profitable time together.
7. If you are the discussion leader, you will find additional suggestions and helpful ideas for each study in the leader’s notes. These are found at the back of the guide.

Introducing Small Group Starter Kit

Why is it that some gardens (and gardeners) do better than others? Is it, as legend suggests, that some people are born with a “green thumb”?
I’m not sure. But possessing at best an average skill in gardening, I do know that there are some things that work better than others. Good soil, for instance. When I want good soil, I add fertilizer and manure as food for the soil, while removing rocks which would hinder the growth of tender plants.
Weather helps, but I can’t control it. I can, however, wait until I think that the winter frosts are over before I plant. I can also work in the appropriate plants at their best growing times, perhaps early spring or midsummer, depending on the plant.
The writer of Ecclesiastes says, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity.” And if plants have their time, small groups must have theirs as well.

Beginnings

Every small group has to have a beginning. This guide has been created to help meet some of the early needs a group has. It is designed
1. to help the small group in its initial steps toward becoming a community.
2. to explore the idea of small group ministry—its purpose and functions.
3. to use the inductive style of Bible study in an interactive, relationship-building atmosphere.
4. to completely lay out the first six weeks of a group’s life so that leaders can relax on the logistics and concentrate on the relationships.
This guide uses healthy, relevant small group ideas and principles, and attempts to help a small group model positive principles from its start. During its six weeks together, your group will interact with the concept of “discipleship” and learn that community is the framework within which disciples are made. The group will explore key components of small groups—fellowship, nurture, worship and mission.

The Fundamentals

The first time I played tennis I remember going to a court with my father and two sisters. My sisters and I had no idea what we were doing, but we were determined to have fun. We ran around the court swinging our rackets, mimicking the “pros” we had seen, trying to hit balls for distance and grading each other for the craziest shots.
Meanwhile, my poor father attempted to teach us some of the fundamentals of tennis: how to stand, where to aim, ways to move our feet and other things he longed for us to know. Finally, I guess he gave up. He let us run ourselves tired, and then he took us home.
I eventually learned to play tennis at an average level. In order to get to that level I learned how to serve, volley, use forehand, backhand and net play, and how to keep score. My learning probably took longer because I was a poor pupil.
In the same way that a tennis player needs to learn fundamentals, a group needs them as well. There are right things to do in a group. There are wrong things as well. A bad habit, such as allowing one person to dominate discussion, can kill a group. A good habit, such as giving every member an equal voice in the group, can empower individuals and the group.
This six-week series will teach positive group habits. It will also put you on a winning track by helping you model and live healthy characteristics from the first week.
It is my prayer that this guide will help your group find a directed and positive identity, a clear purpose and sense of direction, and fulfillment as it embarks on what I pray will be a positive, enduring set of relationships.

1

Why Small Groups?

Acts 2:42–47

Imagine a man named Bob walking into your church or fellowship group. Bob is married, has two young children, is an engineer, lives in a modest housing development, has been active in church before and is prepared to get involved in your church.
Bob is also a Christian man not unlike others, facing a host of potential issues and problems in his faith: time management, marriage and relationship-building, parenting, relating to superiors at work, being a boss, living ethically in an immoral world, having a godly thought life, dealing with sins that have plagued him for years, and many other issues.
These issues don’t necessarily impact his effectiveness in your church. He could be involved in committees, for instance, while his wife remains at home with the kids and his marriage falls apart. Perhaps nobody would ever know of his sin areas or struggles at work.
Your church is full of unique individuals like Bob, each with a complex set of “givens”—life situations, relationships, sin and addiction areas—that impact their lives and either hold back or stimulate their faith. The question is, how can a church minister to all of its people when their needs are so specialized?
One exciting answer to this dilemma is small groups. In this first study we will explore the purpose of small group ministry and realize that small groups are for people like Bob who want to learn more about God and grow in their faith.

1. What kinds of small groups have you been in? (Consider church, work, sports, clubs and so on.)

2. When you think about being in a small group, which most closely characterizes your feelings and why?

a. I’ve been in lots of groups and am relaxed.
b. This is my first experience in a small group, and I am unsure.
c. (supply name) twisted my arm, so I came.
d. I’m apprehensive, but excited as well.
e. other

3. What would you like to receive from your participation in this group?

4. Read Acts 2:42–47. List at least ten things that the early believers did as they grew together in their faith.

5. What kinds of things happened as a result of their faith (vv. 43, 45, 47)?

6. What would it have been like to have been part of the Acts 2 group?

7. The success of the early church hinged on its understanding of, and ability to make, disciples. In order to understand the complexity of disciplemaking, consider two potential disciples—Bob and Sue.
For each person, list at least fifteen potential issues which may pertain to their lives and faith, and which must be addressed in order for them to become healthy disciples. For example, for Bob, dealing with superiors in his work environment is one issue.
Bob—husband, father, church member, engineer, homeowner.
work issues:

family/marriage issues:

church life issues:

home/neighborhood issues:

obedience/thought life issues:

Sue—single, aunt, church member, paralegal, townhome renter.
work issues:

family issues:

church life issues:

home/neighborhood issues:

obedience/thought life issues:

8. What are some ways that small groups can help Bob and Sue to grow by enabling them to address some of the challenges confronting their faith?

9. Disciples are those who love God with heart, soul, mind and strength and love their neighbors as themselves. On the “discipleship scale” I am (mark the point on the scale):

barely alive
 moving forward
 learning the lessons
 a disciple

10. I have issues like Bob and Sue. One issue I want to work on is:

11. Prayer does not have to be fancy in order to be effective, any more than communication always has to be eloquent. Spend a few moments in the group praying for each other, specifically naming the one issue that each person addressed in question 9.

Housekeeping

Ground Rules: For the next six weeks, you are encouraged to adopt these ideas for building a healthy group and at least give them a try.
1. Everyone is important to the group. Therefore, we encourage (not demand) everyone to have a group role (listed on page 16).
2. We welcome newcomers. Therefore, we will be an open group for the next five weeks and will invite friends and acquaintances. Also, we will place an empty chair at every meeting and, in our closing prayer, will pray for the person that God wants to sit in that chair.
3. This group reflects the wishes, needs and abilities of our members. Therefore, we will work out a group covenant that is realistic for every member (sample below).
4. We make disciples. Therefore, our group will balance time spent relationship-building, learning and growing, and reaching out to our friends.
5. We encourage sharing. Therefore, when our group has more than seven members, we will break into groups of four at appropriate points in our meeting.
6. We are an accountable group. Therefore, we promise that we will be honest and affirming, that we will use group consensus when decisions must be made, and we will not talk about one another apart from the group.
After reading the characteristics of the group just described, we commit ourselves to becoming a group reflective of each of the above statements.
Signed ____________________________

Group Covenant: Every group has a covenant, whether it is written down or not. Unfortunately, when groups don’t make specific, proactive decisions, the unwritten kind of covenant may evolve into the wishes and desires of a strong-willed person or two. In this guide some of the decisions have been made for you. Others need to be addressed below. You will cover the idea of group covenants more fully in study 6, when you create the covenant that will guide your group into the future.

Meeting time/place agreed to by all ____________________
Meeting frequency agreed to by all ____________________
Additional disciplines (if any) agreed to by all ________________
Group Roles: Everyone has a place in a small group, so each person should have a part. Here are some roles that could be delegated:

Our leader is ______________________________
Host/hostess ______________________________
In charge of refreshments, general atmosphere of meeting place.
Timekeeper ______________________________
Time-conscious individual keeps group on track.
Prayer leader ______________________________
Facilitates prayer time, keeps list of requests/answers.
Fellowship leader ______________________________
Asks the opening questions at the beginning of each session. Plans special events for the group.
Phone caller ______________________________
Communicates with group members outside of group time.
Outreach leader ______________________________
Makes sure that there is an empty chair at each meeting. Encourages people to invite friends.
Leaders of groups of four ________________________________
Come prepared to lead at the times when the group divides.

2

A Relationship-Building Community

Mark 10:35–45

Riding to work one day, I overhead the words of a rock song that went something like this: “Why can’t we just love each other? Why can’t we get along better? Just love each other, that’s all we have to do.”
Sounds pretty good to me. But the person who wrote those words must not be married.
If anyone thinks that love is, or should be, easy, then he or she should live under the same roof with the same person for a lifetime. Studies show the majority of new marriages will fall apart. Of the remaining ones, few will reach a stage of community that lasts.
The fact is that love is the most difficult thing that a person is called upon to do. Anything is easier: Getting a masters degree, writing a theological treatise, designing a new computer, climbing Mount Everest.
Even the disciples found love difficult. After three years of living with God himself, watching the truest, most pure form of love demonstrated in history, they still didn’t get it. Just one and a half months before the Day of Pentecost (when they were to assume their leadership role over the church), the disciples bickered over who was the greatest in the kingdom, and fought because nobody wanted to wash the others’ feet (see the Gospel accounts of the Last Supper).
They knew how to jostle and position themselves, to soak Jesus’ energy with their constant demands. They did not yet know how to serve, to reach beyond themselves and love another—until they reached a stage of community that we will call “We like you because … We love you in spite of …”

1. Who has been your longest and best friend?

2. Why has the friendship worked?

3. How many close friends do you have in your church or fellowship? Explain.

4. In the last session, we saw that the purpose of this small group is to make disciples. Before we can grow as disciples, we must be a healthy, loving community. In the New Testament the Greek word for community is koinōnia. The apostle Paul used the word koinōnia thirteen times. Each time he spoke of a Christian relationship that is ours through the Holy Spirit, imitating Christ by producing the kind of love that acts for the good of the other. It creates bonds that cannot be destroyed. What kinds of things would a koinonia community do?

5. Contrast a koinonia community with a self-centered community by reading Mark 10:35–45. What did James and John request of Jesus (v. 37)?

What do you think prompted their request?

6. How did the other disciples react (v. 41)? Why?

7. Jesus called the disciples together and taught a lesson on discipleship while addressing the motives behind the requests. In verse 43 what determines Christian greatness?

8. How does one become “first” (v. 44)?

9. How does service determine effectiveness in Christian relationships?

10. Through this experience and others, Jesus was able to teach the disciples that power and control are at the root of our struggles with one another. Surprisingly, the events of Mark 10 occurred after the disciples had been with Christ for a long time. Even more surprising, the disciples fought the same battle the very night of the Last Supper (see Jn 13:1–17). What are ways that power and control struggles enter into our relationships?

11. Small group experts talk about stages that a small group will need to go through in order to become a true community. In each stage power and control issues are present. For each of the stages that follow list several ways that a Christlike servant might think and act.

Stage 1—“Isn’t this great?” The honeymoon stage encompasses unity at the expense of diversity. The group, like yours, is young. Everything is new, individual differences are minimized as the group begins working together. This is the “honeymoon stage.” In Mark 1:35–39 the disciples find Jesus in prayer and tell him that everyone is looking for him. They are pleased that Jesus is so successful!
Stage 2—“Hey, you left your dirty laundry in the bathroom!” The conflict stage emphasizes diversity at the expense of unity. As time goes by, individuals begin to see areas where they are different from one another. People begin calling each other outside of the group, and tension is felt. Subtle, and not so subtle, power struggles, as we saw in Mark 10:35–45, occur.
Stage 3—“We like you because … and we love you in spite of …” In stage three there is community or unity alongside diversity. Groups that are honest with one another and are willing to pay whatever price is necessary reach this stage. Many groups settle into stage two with bickering and backbiting and never make it to this stage of unconditional love. In John 21:15–19 we see Jesus offer Peter his forgiveness after Peter denied Jesus. This is the action phase of a small group.
Stage 4—“We’re a team!” The closure stage affirms unity and brings the group to an end. Groups are not static entities. They are dynamic organisms that are born and will eventually die. In Acts 2:1–4 the Holy Spirit comes to the disciples. The power of the Spirit enables them to disband and go out into the world in confidence. This was the culmination of ten days of intimate prayer, sharing and community-building by the disciples. The ultimate goal of a group is separate in order to serve others.

12. What kinds of things can you do to help your group through the four stages?

13. One way to protect your group from power and control issues is by writing a good group covenant. You may remember that in study one you promised to be honest and affirming, to use group consensus when decisions are made and not to talk about one another apart from the group. This is the beginning of a covenant.
A second way to protect your group from power and control issues is by praying together. As you close in prayer, consider some of the ways that group members identified potential control issues that we face in relationships (question 10). Spend some time asking God to protect your group and to lead you into loving, healthy community so that you can be effective disciples of Jesus Christ.

3

A Growing Community

Psalm 1

The headlines trumpet the news:

  The stock of XXX corporation plummeted 14% yesterday on news of flat revenue and lower-than-expected earnings growth. XXX corporation has been hurt by competition in their industry. Susan Smith, stock analyst with Take Stock America, downgraded XXX to a sell. Meanwhile, XXX’s C.E.O., Bob Hutchins, promised that cost-cutting measures, company streamlining and increased productivity will turn his company around.

An interesting thing about investing in the stock market is that people will only invest in stocks that provide a return. Companies that don’t grow are dropped like hot potatoes. In fact, the ultimate long-term fuel behind the rise in a stock’s price is a rise in its sales and earnings. In the long term, growth is what the stock market is about.
Growth is what the Bible is about as well. If the status quo were to be maintained, then God would not have had to intervene in human history as often and as persistently as he has. Yet there are some small groups that study the Bible for years and never seem to produce spiritual growth. One of the charges leveled against “small group Bible studies” is that tangents and academic intrigue are too often the fruit of study.
So there is a dilemma facing groups interested in making disciples: how to use the textbook of the Christian life in such a way that growth in knowledge ultimately leads to wisdom, grace and love. As Jesus said in Matthew 7:16: “By their fruit you will recognize them.” This study is about finding that fruit.

1. What was your favorite subject in school (any level) and why?

2. What is something you would like to do, study or know before leaving this life?

3. Read Psalm 1. In one or two sentences, what does this psalm seem to be saying?

4. There are three things that the “blessed man” does not do that are found in verse 1. List them in your own words.

5. Why do you think that people walk in the counsel of the wicked, stand in the way of sinners and sit in the seat of mockers?

6. Describe the result of the negative behavior exhibited in verse 1 (vv. 4 and 6).

7. In verse 2, the blessed man does something that is good. What does it mean to “delight” in Scripture and to “meditate on it day and night”?

8. There are three blessings that come to the man who roots his life in Scripture (v. 3). In your own words, what are they?

9. In what forms may these blessings come in a person’s life? Use examples if you can.

10. Based on what this psalm teaches what would you say to a small group that studies the Bible endlessly, but whose members never seem to grow in their relationships with God and one another?

an individual who continually finds himself or herself being led into sin by friends?

11. In order to grow in discipleship, this group needs to bathe itself in Scripture and to begin applying Scripture to all of life. What is an area of your life that God has changed?

12. What one area of your life would you like to see God begin to change in the coming year?

13. Write down the needs and concerns that were expressed in question 12 so that you can pray for one another. As you spend time praying together, reflect on what the psalm means when it says to “delight” in God and his Word. As you pray for each other, you may want to open your Bibles to Psalm 1 and use words from it to frame your request. For example, “Lord, help us to delight ourselves in your Word.”

4

An Outreaching Community

John 4:4–38

When I walk into the home of a hunter, I see trophies on the wall. The homes of athletes have trophies on the shelves. Hummel collectors love to display their love of fine porcelain. Movie buffs will have pictures and other memorabilia. Sports card collectors will evidence their prizes.
There is something about humans that causes us to share. What good is a victory, or a hobby, unless it can be displayed, commented on, relived, reloved?
If Jesus Christ means anything to those who believe, then sooner or later he will find ways to show up in our lives, homes and conversations. People will notice books on our desk or a picture on our wall. Time will be used differently; words will be chosen with greater care and potential for love.
As disciples get better at ordering their lives according to Jesus’ priorities, then there is even a point where it is difficult to determine where Jesus ends and we begin. Like the consummate bowler, or fantastic fan, a peaceful demeanor and love-motivated lifestyle begin to carry themselves beyond the church walls. We become walking “advertisements” for Jesus!
Ephesians 2:8–9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” This means that we have a gift, eternal life, given solely by the good will of God (grace means “undeserved favor”). That gift is worth exploring and, once we understand its value, sharing.
In this study, we will see how Jesus offered himself to a lonely Samaritan woman in need of a genuine, caring human touch. We will then discuss ways that we, too, can share the love of God with others.

1. Describe a time when you were hurting and someone reached out to you.

Describe a time when you helped a person in need.

2. When it comes to sharing your faith, are you ready, willing and able, or nervous and afraid, or somewhere in between? Explain your response.

3. What do you think are the greatest hangups to sharing one’s faith?

4. Read John 4:4–26. Summarize the events in this passage.

5. What does verse 9 reveal about how Jews and Samaritans related?

6. What do we know about the woman’s marital status (vv. 17–19)?

7. What was the woman’s worship style (vv. 19–22)?

8. As she faced Jesus at the well, the woman had spiritual and emotional needs that Jesus was able to discern. What were they?

9. Although Jesus initially asked her for water, he obviously felt that he had something to offer her, not vice versa. How would you describe his approach to this woman?

What do you think motivated him?

10. In verses 10 and 13–14 Jesus likens himself to “living water.” What did he mean by “whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst” and “a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (v. 14)?

11. Read John 4:27–38. In verse 35 Jesus says that the fields are ripe for harvest; that is, many people needed Jesus and were ready to hear. Do you think that is true today? Explain why or why not.

12. Who is someone you know who needs Jesus?

13. As a group, you will be sharing Jesus with one another and growing in your faith. You will also need to share your faith, as Jesus did, so that others may meet Christ in their own way. Discuss each of the following ways to share, and see if there are any you may choose to adopt now, later, or both.
Idea 1—Use the “empty chair” and pray at each meeting for the person who is to sit in the chair.
Idea 2—Each group member makes a list of friends, family and neighbors who live in the area. Begin praying for at least one person (individually and/or as a group) and, ultimately, begin inviting these individuals to a meeting.
Idea 3—Maintain an “open group.” This means that the group welcomes new members. During times of intense spiritual growth you may close for a period.
Idea 4—Perhaps one month out of every year reconstitute yourself as an evangelistic small group, inviting friends and preparing to meet the Jesus of the Gospels.

14. Pray together, remembering requests from previous weeks and naming before God some of the individuals you want to know Jesus.

5

A Connected Community

1 Corinthians 12:12–26

I am a trumpet player, and in earlier days (most notably, junior and senior high) was fairly good. Good enough, in fact, to be the “first chair” of my high-school band and the all-county band.
I was also prideful. I am embarrassed when I look back on those days because I overestimated my importance to the band. After a concert, I recall asking my parents if they had heard any of my mistakes (of course they hadn’t!). In my self-consciousness, I thought that everyone noticed my weaknesses. In reality, I was an important but small part of a large group.
Small groups are significant yet small parts of a large body as well. Unless a small group considers itself a “house church” (that is, a functioning church), its members must be tied to a local church to have a more universal understanding of their part in the body of Christ.
There are people who join small groups precisely because they want to get away from the stress of the church. Others band together because they are having trouble with the pastor. Still others unknowingly become an ingrown and exclusive group, locking out others who could benefit from a Christ-centered small group experience.
Small groups can do a disservice to the church when they overestimate their importance (like I did in the band) or underestimate their importance. They can do damage when they spend group time tearing down instead of building up. And they can miss important service opportunities when they forget that they exist to make the larger body of Christ stronger.
Small groups are a dynamic way to build disciples. For that to happen most effectively, the small group has to understand and enhance its role in the body of Christ.

1. Complete one of the following:
Option 1: Break into two “teams” for a competition. Scatter ten books throughout the room. Each team picks an individual and blindfolds that person. The object of the game is for the blindfolded person (with the help of the team) to locate all of the books and stack them for the team in a specific team location.
Each other individual on the team is given a specific command to shout at the appropriate time. Suggestions: Stop! Left! Right! Reach Down! Straight! Turn Around! At the command “Go,” the first blindfolded person goes until he or she locates the books and stacks them. The time is recorded, and the other team goes. Best time wins.
When everyone is finished, discuss:
a. How did it feel to execute only one command as a speaker?
b. How did it feel to take commands from so many people?
c. What was it that helped the winning team get a good time?
d. How is the blindfolded person in this game like the church?
How are the instruction givers like the small groups?
Option 2: Complete the exercises below.
a. Play a positive “gossip” game. Have each group member take a turn moving slightly out of the group (for example, by turning his or her chair to the side) for one or two minutes. Then, as a group talk about the positive things you have learned about that person during the past five weeks.
b. Allow everyone to complete this sentence: One word I would use to describe this group is .

2. Read 1 Corinthians 12:12–26. How is the body an appropriate image for the church?

3. For the body to function well, why is it important for the different parts to exercise their gifts?

4. There are two “dysfunctions” identified in 1 Corinthians 12 in relation to the body. The first is found in verses 14–20. What is the problem?

How is each part of the body supposed to understand itself?

5. What are examples you have seen in your church or fellowship of this type of dysfunction?

6. The second dysfunction is found in verses 21–26. What is the problem?

How is each part of the body supposed to understand itself?

7. What are examples you have seen in your church or fellowship of this type of dysfunction?

8. How would you summarize the message of 1 Corinthians 12 as it speaks to the relationship that must exist between your small group and your church or fellowship?

9. As you can see from 1 Corinthians 12, God intended for the church to be like a fully functioning body, with each part operating for the good of the whole. What are ways you think that small groups could help make the local church stronger?

10. From this study list at least five reasons small group members need to be connected to a local church.

11. As a group, look over the list below and brainstorm ways that your small group may be helpful in the life of your church or fellowship:

service needs:
worship:
leadership:
nurture:
member care:
outreach:

12. Name one joy and one concern you have for your church or fellowship. Join in prayer for the larger body of Christ, for your small group and for the needs of individual members.

6

A Covenanting Community

Exodus 19:3–8; 20:1–21

I was once in a group that would have sharing time that lasted for hours. Even though we stayed and contributed like everyone else, my wife and I would get in the car after the group and struggle to stay awake on the drive home. Thinking we were the only ones feeling that the group was out of control (and since we were not the leaders), we decided to keep our mouths shut. A few months later, everyone had dropped out.
I know a similar story about a group that had long meetings. They sent several of their members to a small-group-leader training that I was conducting. These leaders went back to the group, helped it to craft a covenant, and they elected a “timekeeper” who was able to keep the group on course in a humorous, nonthreatening way. The group began to grow.
The difference between the two groups is that one developed a clear understanding of its time use and it stuck to its self-imposed rules. The other one allowed itself to drift aimlessly into oblivion.
No group wants to fail. Through discipline and some intention, a group can foresee potential problems and can ensure its success. That is where group covenants come in. In this session we will explore the idea of “covenant” and will craft a document that will guide your group as it enters a new phase in its life.

1. Spend a few moments thinking up two things that are true about yourself that you think nobody else in the group knows (for example: I once flew an airplane). Write your answers on opposite halves of a scrap of paper, then rip the paper in half. Mix up the entries, and then pick up one at a time and have the group guess who the item applies to. See who guesses the most correctly.

2. What has been the most positive part of being a group these past weeks?

What could be changed for the better?

3. As you think back over the past weeks, how has your group followed its original covenant made at your first meeting?

How has it deviated from its original covenant?

4. Read Exodus 19:3–8. The people of Israel were camped at Mt. Sinai, ready to receive the Law of God (including the Ten Commandments). In verses 3–6 what did God agree to do if the people obeyed?

5. What did the people agree to in verses 7–8?

6. What reasons would the people have had to trust God?

7. Read Exodus 20:1–21. Go through each commandment. For each, answer the following questions:
Why did the commandment need to be stated?

If you were to state the commandment in the positive (reversing the “you shall nots” into “you shalls”), what would it be?
Commandment 1

Commandment 2

Commandment 3

Commandment 4

Commandment 5

Commandment 6

Commandment 7

Commandment 8

Commandment 9

Commandment 10

8. As God gave the people the Ten Commandments, there was a huge display of thunder and lightning, and a trumpet sounded. The people were afraid. Why did God want the people to respect him (v. 20)?

9. We need covenants and agreements like the Ten Commandments because we fall short of God’s standards. A small group covenant operates on the same principle. Because we are sinful, we will naturally settle into unhealthy patterns over time unless we intentionally and positively address each sin before we do it. Spend some time now developing a group covenant.
The outline below will help you to make key decisions for your covenant. As you work through it, keep in mind the importance of group consensus. Each person must agree fully to each stipulation before you move on to the next point.

Small Group Covenant

Part I. We reflect the wishes, needs and abilities of our members.
Length of Covenant: From ______________ to ______________
We will study the following: ___________________________
Each disciple will be expected to complete the following homework (if any): ___________________________
Meeting Time ________ Place ___________ Length of Meeting ___________

Part II. We make disciples.
Given the length of our meetings, we will break down the time in the following way:

  1. For study: From ______________ to ______________
  2. For relationship-building: From ______________ to ______________
    (includes prayer, worship, coffee time, icebreakers and prayer)
  3. For outreach (see Part V of this covenant): From ______________ to ______________

Part III. We are an accountable group.
We agree to the following (check the ones which apply):
a. _____ sharing and prayer (in groups of four)
b. _____ honesty with one another
c. _____ affirming each other (not cutting each other down)
d. _____ decision-making by group consensus
e. _____ not to talk about one another unless the person being spoken of is present
f. _____ other

Part IV. Everyone is important to the group.
Assign group roles if you have not done so or adjust group roles as needed so that everyone has an important function to fulfill for the good of the group.
leader ______________________________
host/hostess ______________________________
timekeeper ______________________________
prayer leader ______________________________
fellowship leader ______________________________
phone caller ______________________________
outreach leader ______________________________

Part V. We welcome newcomers.
To encourage outreach we will ________________________________

10. What is something that you have learned from the past five weeks together?

11. What is one expectation you have for the future of this group?

12. As you close this six-week segment in your group life, spend some time thanking God for the positive things you’ve experienced as a group. Talk to God about the things you have learned about him, yourselves and others.

Leader’s Notes

Leading a small group can be an enjoyable and rewarding experience. But it can also be scary—especially if you’ve never done it before. If this is your feeling, you’re in good company. When God asked Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, he replied, “O Lord, please send someone else to do it!” (Ex 4:13).
When Solomon became king of Israel, he felt the task was far beyond his abilities. “I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties.… Who is able to govern this great people of yours?” (1 Kings 3:7, 9).
When God called Jeremiah to be a prophet, he replied, “Ah, Sovereign LORD, … I do not know how to speak; I am only a child” (Jer 1:6).
The list goes on. The apostles were “unschooled, ordinary men” (Acts 4:13). Timothy was young, frail and frightened. Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” made him feel weak. But God’s response to all of his servants—including you—is essentially the same: “My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Cor 12:9). Relax. God helped these people in spite of their weaknesses, and he can help you in spite of your feelings of inadequacy.
These next few pages will give you a basic overview of small group ministry, including tips on how to be an effective leader. This six-week guide was created to help your group get off the ground in a healthy manner. By using this material, and following its guidelines, you will be protected from some of the more complex problems that may come your way.
Please take the time to read this material carefully, even if you have led small groups, since Small Group Starter Kit is unique. There may be ideas here that will help you to become a more effective leader. For more information on issues related to leading a small group, I would suggest reading The Big Book on Small Groups (IVP).

The Goal of Small Group Ministry

When Christ was giving his final commands to his disciples, he told them to “make disciples of all peoples” (Mt 28:18). We too can follow this command.
A disciple is one who grows in union and obedience with God while (1) learning God’s way through study, worship and prayer, (2) growing in community with other believers, and (3) reaching out to friends and neighbors who need to know Jesus.
Keep this basic definition in mind to refer to as your group progresses. It may help you to better evaluate group health.

Understanding Small Groups

1. Four components. Disciples grow in union and obedience with God while learning, growing and reaching out. There are four components of a healthy small group.
Nurture. Learning God’s way through Scripture study.
Community. Growing in relationships with other believers.
Outreach. Reaching out to friends and neighbors who need to know Jesus Christ.
Worship. Offering our praise to God and praying together.
Groups will vary in their combination of these activities.
2. Benefits of small groups. A healthy small group can build the church from the inside out by bringing the following benefits:

  Growing in community—the best way to learn.
  Building disciples—the high level of commitment challenges members to respond in obedience.
  Helping people discover that they have something to offer—members learn about their spiritual gifts and their ability to give.
  Sharing the good news of Jesus Christ—first, because people grow in their faith and are more prone to talk to others about Jesus. Second, non-Christians can enter a vital small group through group evangelism.
  Energizing the body of Christ—people growing in their faith are more prone to share, to give, to be faithful, to serve, to care, to pray and more.

3. Kinds of small groups. Although groups learn God’s way (study, prayer and worship), build community and do outreach, they choose to include these elements to varying degrees. Each group is unique. Here are some of the types of small groups that you can begin with this guide.
Covenant Group. The most prominent group type. The focus is usually on discipleship through Scripture study and building community.
Discipleship Group. A more intensive group, focusing on disciple-making through study and group accountability in deep relationships. This is usually a smaller group, perhaps 2–5 people.
Ministry Group. Focuses on service and outreach, but its task-oriented nature must be informed and shaped as it learns and grows relationally.
Recovery Group. For people growing past addiction, abuse and codependency issues, this group will help them learn about God and find balance in life in a loving community.
House Church. Focuses on worship with some community-building.
Support/Affinity Group. Can be any of the above types of groups. Unique in that it is made up of people of like minds or circumstances. For example, young mothers or clerical workers might be in a small group together.
4. Choosing Group Members. When you are ready to form a group, it is helpful to follow these steps:
a. Decide what kind of group you want to lead.
b. Carefully and prayerfully consider who you would ask to join your group, making sure that they will fit into the kind of group you envision, that they care about their faith and will be positive group members, and that you feel you can get along with them.
c. A face-to-face invitation is best. Don’t press or belabor your invitation; simply ask them to be in a group with you and give them enough information to make the first meeting. You can then follow up with a written invitation. If forty percent of those you invite show up at the first meeting, then you’ve done very well!

Leading a Small Group

Little League baseball has its coaches. Classrooms have their teachers. And small groups must have leaders. You are an indispensable part of the disciple-making process.
Many groups have no leaders, and some of them do quite well. But in order for a leaderless group to work, too many things need to be close to perfection: the overall communication, the ability of the group to listen to its quieter members, the facilitation of the Bible study choices and dealing with difficult group problems, among other things. Leaders help in these key areas, and more. Here are a few basic things you can consider to enhance your leadership.
1. Prayer. One of the most enduring pictures we have of Jesus Christ is that he was a man of prayer, continually on his knees before God. If you believe that only God can change a heart, help a group get past its difficult times and be present with each disciple throughout the week, then you should commit to praying daily for each group member. More than anything else you do, leading in prayer will have a great impact. If you need help in this area, there are many great books on the topic. For example, Daring to Draw Near by John White (IVP).
2. Logistics. Christians who are familiar with the working of the Spirit will understand that the Holy Spirit can work in the most difficult of conditions. That doesn’t mean, however, that we should test God. For example, most groups would study better in a well-lit room without phones ringing and dogs jumping on people.
The small group leader can help to make sure that the place, time, room condition, refreshments and other sundry arrangements have been made and that the group will be comfortable as it learns and grows.
3. Stages. Every relationship goes through stages, so it stands to reason that groups will go through them as well. Experts generally recognize four stages where groups are concerned: honeymoon, conflict, community and closure. It helps if leaders are able to recognize the stages so that they do not try to downplay significant things that are happening (for instance, when conflict occurs and the leader wants to pretend that nothing is wrong). You can read more about growing through the stages in The Big Book on Small Groups, chapter 7.
4. Empowering members. A small group is not a lecture series. So if you find yourself talking too much, then you are probably holding your group back. There are several things you can do to ensure that you are leading properly.
Delegate. The design of this six-week beginning is that you will delegate group roles in the first week of your group’s life. You must make sure that people follow through on their duties, but don’t do their work for them. Delegating will keep people coming (because they’re needed), get people to exercise their gifts and bind your group together.
Facilitate. The leader acts as a channel to make good things happen. When you facilitate a discussion, you help the group to learn for itself. When you facilitate in decision-making, you make people think for themselves. Facilitating is not easy, but can be made easier when you learn to ask probing questions (who, where, when, how, what, why).
Be open. Because you want the group to learn and grow, you have the opportunity to learn and grow along with them. The group will go only as deep as the leader does. Do not remove yourself from the process of disciple-making. Instead humbly and excitedly learn the lessons of the Christian faith with the rest of the group.

Preparing to Lead a Meeting

1. Spend time in prayer. Ask God to help you understand and answer the questions. Pray for each member of the small group by name. Ask God to prosper your small group.
2. Carefully prepare for each study by reading and rereading the assigned Bible passage. If you are doing a book study, you may want to read through the entire book prior to the first study. This will give you a helpful overview of its contents.
3. This study guide is based on the New International Version of the Bible. It will help you and the group if you use this translation as the basis for your study and discussion. Encourage others to use the NIV as well, but allow them the freedom to use whatever translation they prefer.
4. Work through the questions in the study yourself. Formulate your responses so that you can lead the group to find its answers. Write your answers in the space provided, along with any notes that you wish to make. These can give you a quick reference during the study.
5. It might help to have a Bible dictionary handy, such as the New Bible Dictionary. Use it to look up any unfamiliar words, names or places. (For additional help on how to study a passage, see Discovering the Word [IVP].)
6. Once you have finished your own study of the passage, familiarize yourself with the leader’s notes for the study you are leading. These are designed to help you in several ways. First, they tell you the purpose the study-guide author had in mind while writing the study. Take time to think through how the study guide questions work together to accomplish that purpose. Second, the notes provide you with additional background information or comments on some of the questions. This information can be useful if people have difficulty understanding or answering a question. Third, the leader’s notes can alert you to potential problems you may encounter during the study.
7. If you wish to remind yourself of anything mentioned in the leader’s notes, make a note to yourself below that question in the study.
8. Along with the answers to the questions, study the breakdown of time for each session (found in the leader’s notes). If necessary, include time notations in the margins next to questions in the study so that you can remember to keep things moving.

Leading the Meeting

1. Begin the study on time. Unless you are leading an evangelistic Bible study, open with prayer, asking God to help you to understand and apply the passage.
2. Be sure that everyone in your group has a study guide. Encourage them to prepare beforehand for each discussion by working through the questions in the guide.
3. At the beginning of your first time together, explain that these studies are meant to be discussions, not lectures. Encourage the members of the group to participate. However, do not put pressure on those who may be hesitant to speak during the first few sessions.
4. Read the introductory paragraph at the beginning of the discussion. This will orient the group to the passage being studied.
5. Read the passage aloud if you are studying one chapter or less. You may choose to do this yourself, or someone else may read if he or she has been asked to do so prior to the study. Longer passages may occasionally be read in parts at different times during the study. Some studies may cover several chapters. In such cases reading aloud would probably take too much time, so the group members should simply read the assigned passages prior to the study.
6. As you begin to ask the questions in the guide, keep several things in mind. First, the questions are designed to be used just as they are written. If you wish, you may simply read them aloud to the group. Or you may prefer to express them in your own words. However, unnecessary rewording of the questions is not recommended.
Second, the questions are intended to guide the group toward understanding and applying the main idea of the passage. The author of the guide has stated his or her view of this central idea in the purpose of the study in the leader’s notes. You should try to understand how the passage expresses this idea and how the study questions work together to lead the group in that direction.
There may be times when it is appropriate to deviate from the study guide. For example, a question may have already been answered. If so, move on to the next question. Or someone may raise an important question not covered in the guide. Take time to discuss it! The important thing is to use discretion. There may be many routes you can travel to reach the goal of the study. But the easiest route is usually the one the author has suggested.
7. Avoid answering your own questions. If necessary, repeat or rephrase them until they are clearly understood. An eager group quickly becomes passive and silent if they think the leader will do most of the talking.
8. Don’t be afraid of silence. People may need time to think about the question before formulating their answers.
9. Don’t be content with just one answer. Ask, “What do the rest of you think?” or “Anything else?” until several people have given answers to the question.
10. Acknowledge all contributions. Try to be affirming whenever possible. Never reject an answer. If it is clearly wrong, ask, “Which verse led you to that conclusion?” or again, “What do the rest of you think?”
11. Don’t expect every answer to be addressed to you, even though this will probably happen at first. As group members become more at ease, they will begin to truly interact with each other. This is one sign of a healthy discussion.
12. Don’t be afraid of controversy. It can be very stimulating. If you don’t resolve an issue completely, don’t be frustrated. Move on and keep it in mind for later. A subsequent study may solve the problem.
13. Stick to the passage under consideration. It should be the source for answering the questions. Discourage the group from unnecessary cross-referencing. Likewise, stick to the subject and avoid going off on tangents.
14. Periodically summarize what the group has said about the passage. This helps to draw together the various ideas mentioned and gives continuity to the study. But don’t preach.
15. Conclude your time together with conversational prayer. Be sure to ask God’s help to apply those things which you learned in the study.
16. End on time.
Many more suggestions and helps are found in Leading Bible Discussions (IVP). Reading and studying through that would be well worth your time.

Distinctives of This Resource

1. Time. The sessions have been planned to last one and a half hours. This is a good length of time for a new group. You will also notice that time often seems to run short. A few pointers can help:
a. Feel free to adapt, but stay within a disciplined time schedule.
b. If you feel pressured for time, be glad to know people will leave wanting more rather than feeling like it was too long.
c. Make sure that you don’t cut the community-building times at the opening and prayer time at the end. Early in the group’s life these are very important parts of the meetings.
2. Covenant. In the first and sixth weeks you will be working with group covenants. These are crucial to your group’s self-understanding. They are built on the following key assumptions:

  Everyone is important to the group. We try to find group roles for as many as possible.
  We welcome newcomers. We include an empty chair in the circle and pray that it will be filled. We invite our friends.
  We reflect the needs, wishes and abilities of our members. We work from a covenant.
  We encourage openness. We will divide into groups of four when needed to allow each member to discuss personal issues.
  We are an accountable group. We will be honest and affirming, use group consensus and won’t gossip about each other.

3. Leadership. As the leader, you need to make this six-week experience a positive one.
a. Arrange the meeting space in a relaxed yet intimate fashion, leaving room to break down into groups of four during the meeting. Make sure that phones are turned off, pets are out, children are taken care of and that other distractions are dealt with.
b. Have refreshments ready for the first meeting or until you have a host or hostess.
c. Know this workbook better than anybody, and read all Bible passages ahead of time to make sure that you can answer the questions. The leaders’ notes for each session will help you to stay on track and feel secure in what you are doing.
d. If there are going to be groups of four, make sure that the leaders of the groups are prepared to lead the sharing/prayer times (and, if you so choose, the study times as well).
4. Groups of four. Groups of four are crucial to this experience, since most people will relax only in a group of this size. Yet you will perhaps be tempted to keep the group together no matter how large. Don’t give in to this temptation. While some of your group will be happy with such an arrangement, most would much rather open up in smaller groups.

Study 1. Why Small Groups? Acts 2:42–47

Purpose: To enable the small group to learn about discipleship, and for individuals to see themselves as disciples.
Overview: As people arrive, have coffee and refreshments ready. Allow people to relax and talk. Each week should begin with this “coffee time” so that people can begin getting to know one another in a relaxed manner. In this session you will help the group to begin a meeting ritual that includes relaxed time, sharing life stories, inductive-style Bible study, application and prayer time. Included in this meeting is time for business (housekeeping) at the end.
You may want to open each meeting in prayer, or ask another person to do it (asking the individual, of course, before the meeting and quietly). No long introduction needs to be given; just pass the material out if they don’t already have it, and get started with the opening questions.
A few items to keep in mind:
1. Stay on track time-wise. Don’t let the group stray or get bogged down. Busy group members will appreciate this.
2. If you have more than seven people in the group, break into groups of four where suggested. Larger groups can inhibit openness.
3. During the housekeeping time, try to fill as many role positions as possible, but don’t use guilt or peer pressure. Let people volunteer, and if nobody volunteers, decide as a group how to proceed.
Breakdown of group time:

           5 minutes Coffee
           15 minutes Opening (questions 1–3)
           35 minutes Bible study (questions 4–8)
           8 minutes Personal application (questions 9–10)
           7 minutes Prayer (question 11)
           20 minutes Housekeeping

Questions 1–3. These opening questions accomplish several things. First, they help the group to get to know its members. No matter how well a group may know each other, there is always a stiffness that needs to be overcome before people will begin to talk openly. A good question will break the ice.
Second, they help the group to learn to listen to its members. It may sound strange, but although a small group wants to exist to help each member, it may not do so until it knows what each person needs. Listening to one another is very healthy.
Third, approach questions get people thinking along the lines of the topic of the study. Most people will have lots of different things going on in their minds (dinner, an important meeting coming up, how to get the car fixed) that will have nothing to do with the study. A creative question will get their attention and draw them into the discussion.
Fourth, approach questions can reveal where our thoughts or feelings need to be transformed by Scripture. That is why it is especially important not to read the passage before the approach questions are asked. The passage will tend to color the honest reactions people would otherwise give because they are, of course, supposed to think the way the Bible does. Giving honest responses before they find out what the Bible says may help them see where their thoughts or attitudes need to be changed.
Ask each person to respond to these questions. Take the questions in order, with each person answering the first one, then each person answering the second and so on. That way everyone will get a chance to contribute. If you are getting short on time when you get to the third question, then skip to question four and the Bible study. If the group has more than seven members, break into smaller groups for questions 1–3.

Question 4. If the group split up for the opening, then get back together for the Bible study.
Demonstrating the dynamic aliveness and community-oriented power of their growth in discipleship, the early church devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching (v. 42) and to fellowship with one another and with God (v. 42), observed wonders and signs being done by the apostles (v. 43), had everything in common, meaning that they cared for the needs of those who had less (v. 44), sold possessions and goods to meet needs (v. 45), met daily in the temple courts, presumably for worship and prayer (v. 46), broke bread together in the homes (vv. 42 and 46), praised God (v. 47), were observed by others with favor (v. 47), and grew daily in number (v. 47).

Question 5. As a result of their faith, people were filled with awe (v. 43), peoples’ needs were being met (v. 45) and people came to faith by witnessing the church in action (v. 47).

Question 6. This question is meant to get your group thinking and dreaming about the characteristics that it needs to exhibit. Among other things, to be a part of the Acts 2 community was to live in dynamic fellowship with one another, be a part of a fellowship hungry for growth and see Christ’s love in action as needs were met and faith was lived out.

Question 7. This exercise is to help your small group understand the complexity of discipleship while beginning to see the issues that God may want to address in their lives. If indeed we believe in the lordship of Jesus Christ, then we must learn to give control of each of the following areas to God (and of course there are probably more). Some key areas for Bob might be:
Work issues—dealing with superiors and subordinates, ethics, time management, getting along with others, potential layoffs, workaholism and negative company culture.
Family/marriage issues—time management, parenting, communicating with family members, self-discipline, budgeting, extended family issues like reunions, death and dealing with parents/siblings.
Church life issues—growth in faith and knowledge, getting along with different people, serving in ministry or on committees, understanding splits and strife, and relating to a pastor.
Home/neighborhood issues—house and yard upkeep, and relating to neighbors and their children.
Obedience/thought life issues—dealing with anger, frustration, lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, handling pride, selfishness and learning to pray.
Some key areas for Sue might be:
Work issues—dealing with lawyers, time management, and relationships with coworkers and clients.
Family issues—finding balance in life as a single person, relating to nieces/nephews and to siblings/parents, loneliness, being obedient to God in dating, and budgeting.
Church life issues—similar to Bob.
Home/neighborhood issues—personal safety, home security, and dealing with neighbors.
Obedience/thought life issues—similar to Bob.

Question 8. Small groups allow growing disciples to come together and to begin allowing God to have control of their lives. People can help one another see weak areas, know what steps to take as they grow and be accountable and disciplined. Small groups help make disciples!

Questions 9–10. For these questions break into smaller groups of four if the whole group is larger than seven.

Question 11. If you broke into groups of four, get back together as a large group.
The group will be uncomfortable praying for the first time, but allow time for prayer, even if it means that there is silence. Put the empty chair in the middle of the group so that you can pray for the person who will sit in that chair. You could suggest holding hands if that feels comfortable.

Housekeeping Time. Make sure that each person has a pencil or pen, and read the course assumptions line by line with them, allowing them to sign at the end. Then, help the group to fill out the group covenant and group roles sections. Make sure that you read the group covenant through so that you understand it. You don’t have to fill in each line legalistically, especially the group roles section. Allow people to volunteer for what appeals to them.

Study 2. A Relationship-Building Community. Mark 10:35–45

Purpose: To expose the small group to relationship-building issues such as stages of community and the importance of healthy communication.
Overview: In preparation for this week, you may want to read chapter seven of The Big Book on Small Groups on the different stages that a group will go through on its way to becoming a loving community.
Breakdown of group time:

           5 minutes Coffee
           15 minutes Opening (questions 1–4)
           45 minutes Bible study (questions 5–9)
           10 minutes Personal application (questions 11–12)
           15 minutes Prayer (question 13)

Questions 1–3. Make sure that each person gets to answer questions 1–3. If you run out of time, drop a question or two and proceed to question 4, which prepares the group for this study.

Question 4. You may want to prepare for this question by referring to Acts 2:42–47 and Acts 4:32–35. There you will find such community activities as learning together, shared meals, prayer, life change, pooling resources, giving time, praising God, sharing faith, unity of purpose, stimulating each other to grow in faith, and sacrificial giving and serving. A koinonia community would do everything for the good of individuals and group, in a loving, caring manner, motivated by a desire to nurture one another in faith.

Question 5. James and John’s request was to be the two most prominent persons in Jesus’ kingdom. Their request was rooted in self-interest and pride, and perhaps even played on the special relationship that they shared with Jesus. (Peter, James and John are widely regarded as Jesus’ closest friends.)

Question 6. The disciples reacted out of the same motive as James and John: They were “indignant” (v. 41). Why? Because perhaps they had envisioned themselves sitting in the same places! At the very least they did not want to be under James and John. So their reaction was rooted in self-interest and pride.

Question 7. Christian greatness is determined by service. And being first in Christ’s kingdom is preceded by slavery. In these two comments Jesus sets all of the earthly values of power and control on their heads and rewrites the rules for those who would be considered “great” Christians.

Question 9. How does service determine effectiveness in Christian relationships? Those who serve are willing to unconditionally give, and giving is at the heart of healthy relationship building. Philippians 2:1–4 paints a clear picture of the kind of community that puts others first.

Question 10. There are many hinderances to community, such as fear of love, lack of honesty, selfishness and pride, lack of commitment to a person, dislike of each other, bitterness, gossip, possessiveness, jealousy and lust.

Question 11. This question comes in four parts, one part coinciding with each stage that a small group will go through in its quest to build a healthy community.
Stage 1: A Christian servant would think and act first, with the knowledge that most relationships occur at a surface level and there is much work to do to get beyond that. Second, by understanding that everyone is relationally broken, including him or herself. Third, by beginning to listen not just to what is being said, but what is being communicated beneath the surface.
Stage 2: This is the point in a marriage (after the honeymoon) that the little (or even big) quirks of a spouse begin to drive us crazy. It’s the same in a small group. The first step is to admit there is a problem. Second, we must refuse to participate in godless activities, like gossip. Third, we can be honest, patient and willing to listen at all times. And fourth, we encourage the group to face its problems and resolve them.
Stage 3: If the leader is able to keep the group from disbanding or giving up on healthy communication during stage 2, then eventually the group will begin to listen, to care, to forgive, to heal. In this stage, individuals begin to release their petty hurts and agendas in order to reach across to others in love. Christians function well in this kind of community. They continue to listen, care and pray. And they prod themselves and others to take risks and to grow in their faith.
Stage 4: Small groups stimulate growth, challenge assumptions and make us deal with issues we often would rather not. The result is that we open our lives to the Spirit’s work, and then we begin to offer ourselves to God. And that can mean that the group no longer exists for original reasons, but rather refocuses itself on ministry to others. Christlike individuals first prepare themselves to go into the world as agents of change. Then they go forth in obedience to their Master.

Question 12. A number of things can be done to help the group go through its stages. First, the group needs to be aware that they must go through a conflict stage. This may sound fundamental, but leaders often try to soothe hurts and make them go away instead of addressing them. Second, regular discussions by the group about its health, how people feel and what they are learning could help the group to constantly monitor itself. Third, the group design found in this resource stresses honesty, consensus and no gossip. Honesty means that people will not pretend with each other or hide behind masks. Consensus allows each individual to have an equal say in the group. And not gossiping about another outside of the group means that people can’t or won’t release their relational frustrations with others. Frustrations can only be dealt with in the context of the group or individual relationships.

Question 13. Praying about the idea of community is at the heart of what it means to be a Christian. Very few people in our society have reached true community, where every person is equal, heard, valued and loved. We know how to patronize each other, play subtle games and pretend at community, but not how to sacrificially love (that is, when it hurts). As you pray about the idea of community, encourage the group to be specific about needs being expressed for prayer. The prayer leader can keep a notebook with requests, and then mark when there are answers so that thanks can be given to God. If group members are unable to pray in sentences, allow them to express one word at a time.

Study 3. A Growing Community. Psalm 1

Purpose: To focus the group on the purpose of Bible study: to grow in positive, relational ways as increased knowledge of God’s Word begins to transform our lives.
Overview: In most churches there are people who know a whole lot about Scripture but are negative influences, sometimes bitter, often judgmental. Study and knowledge do not guarantee peace and joy, byproducts of living in healthy relationship with God and one another. So there are pitfalls to avoid as the group and its individuals grow: (1) to stay away from temptations such as the cynicism, cronyism and blatant sin shown in our key passage, Psalm 1, and (2) to constantly and aggressively apply all of Scripture to daily life.
Breakdown of group time:

           5 minutes Coffee
           10 minutes Opening (questions 1–2)
           50 minutes Bible study (questions 3–10)
           10 minutes Personal application (questions 11 and 12)
           15 minutes Prayer (question 13)

Questions 1–2. Make sure that each person is able to answer each of these questions.

Question 3. This psalm contrasts two people: first, the one who does not follow God’s Word or way, but instead dwells upon evil and walks among those who live godless lives; second, the one who bathes himself in God’s Word and lives his life accordingly.

Question 4. The blessed man (a) “does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,” that is, order his life after their counsel, (b) does not “stand in the way of sinners,” that is, to situate himself among sinners, and (c) does not “sit in the seat of mockers,” that is, to dwell in close fellowship with those who mock God and his way. If you think about this verse closely, you will see a natural progression of sin: walking, standing, sitting. Imagine a person walking by, then around, those who sin. Then she moves in and among them, learning their ways and imitating them. Finally, she sits down and begins living and thinking as they do. Interestingly, we may immediately think about people who are blatant sinners, but mockers can include people who operate freely within the body of Christ without experiencing the grace of God.

Question 5. This is a speculative question, but is appropriate. What is it that motivates a person to sin and to get close to those who are “good” at it? The answers may vary, including the need to fit in, be accepted, be rebellious, have fun.

Question 6. The result of the negative behavior is that the “sinner” lives a shallow life, as if this life is all that there is. Short-term thinking leads to short-term legacy and effect (“like chaff that the wind blows away”). This lifestyle has its consequences, including misery in this life and in the next life as well.

Question 7. To “delight” and to “meditate” mean to dwell in constant communion, in this case with God’s Word. The man who is hungry for God, who longs to live God’s way, will make God his sole pursuit.

Question 8. The three blessings: (1) “He is like a tree planted by streams of water”—the inner longings of his life are continually met; he is refreshed no matter what happens around him. (2) “Which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither”—even when wind, rain, hail, snow, frost, drought and heat occur, because he is rooted in God’s Word and fed by a never-ending stream of grace. He will be a blessing to God, himself, and others. (3) “Whatever he does prospers”—a testimony to God’s ability to make everything good (redemption); by bearing fruit for God he will get into a life cycle that is rich, rewarding and produces obedience, joy and peace.

Question 9. God’s blessing comes in different ways to different people. For some, when they are suffering, they are surrounded by friends. Others have a legacy of changed lives—people influenced at different times who show up and offer a word of encouragement and love. All who walk in God’s way reflect his joy and peace in their demeanor, conversation and priorities.

Question 10. The small group that studies but never seems to “grow” does not take seriously the life-changing aspects of Scripture. God’s Word is not for information gathering, but is meant for our humble submission and diligent application.
The individual who is constantly led into sin needs to spend more time reflecting on Scripture and God’s way, so that he or she stops living a shallow life based on a desire for acceptance. In meditating on Scripture, perhaps he or she will begin to see why there is a self-image problem and begin to address it.

Questions 11–12. Encourage all group members to answer both of these questions, giving them time to reflect if necessary. Challenge them to name significant items, not mundane ones. And make sure that you affirm each response with positive comments

Study 4. An Outreaching Community. John 4:4–38

Purpose: To learn how a group can relationally, and positively, share Jesus with others outside of the group.
Overview: Some might think it a bit premature to discuss outreach early in a group’s life, before it has a chance to establish its own rhythm. Yet experience shows that the best time to plan for the future is in the design phase.
There are a few things to discuss regarding outreach that are important to the life of your group (you will see details under question 13). First, while there may be appropriate times for the group to be closed to new members, as long as it is open to newcomers it is an outreaching community, willing to share God’s love with others. Consider making your group “open.” Second, praying for the person who could sit in an empty chair even before it is inhabited will bring the right person to the group by God’s grace. Third, by praying specifically for individuals, you can watch God’s plan unfold in their lives. And fourth, you may mention that as your group grows spiritually and numerically, there may come a time when the group “splits” and forms two groups. This is a normal, healthy, happy part of group life. And, if you discuss each of these possibilities before they happen, people will be more receptive when they do happen.
Breakdown of group time:

           5 minutes Coffee
           20 minutes Opening (questions 1–3)
           40 minutes Bible study (questions 4–10)
           15 minutes Personal application (questions 11–13)
           10 minutes Prayer (question 14)

Questions 1–3. Allow each person to respond to each of these questions. To some (especially perhaps non-Christians who are in the group) the idea of sharing one’s faith may be foreign. If there is any uncertainty on the part of the group about what “sharing my faith” means, you may need to stop and clarify what is being asked. It means that a person who has a living relationship with Jesus Christ wants to tell others about it so that they may have the same.
If someone in the group wants to experience Jesus for the first time, encourage that person to bow her head and invite Jesus to enter her life. For help, you may want to look at the “Four Spiritual Laws” by Campus Crusade for Christ, an evangelistic booklet that is easy to read and understand.

Question 4. In this story Jesus and his disciples are traveling through Samaria, north of Jerusalem, and they stop at a Samaritan town. Jesus waits at the well while the disciples go into town for some food. A woman comes to the well and a discussion ensues, in which Jesus makes her think about spiritual things and encourages her to taste “living water” which he can provide. He reveals himself as her Savior.

Question 5. Samaria had at one time been a part of Israel, but had broken off during the reign of King Solomon’s son Rehoboam because of high taxes and burdensome working conditions (of the original twelve tribes of Israel, all but two broke off). The new country, Samaria, chose a new king, Jeroboam, who wanted to keep the people’s hearts close to home, so he created a hybrid form of worship that incorporated pagan and Jewish elements of worship. At about 722 B.C., the Northern Kingdom’s ten tribes had been taken into captivity, where they had begun to intermarry with the pagans. A number of these “mixed breed” people had filtered back to the old home grounds and had remained the Jews’ enemies even to the time of Jesus. By talking to the woman of Samaria, Jesus was breaking the tradition of the Jewish people, who snubbed Samaritans.

Question 6. The Samaritan woman had come to the well during the heat of the day, showing that she was most likely ostracized among her own people (most women drew in the morning and evening, when it was cooler). She was ostracized because she was living with a man, and she had five failed marriages in her past, traits not looked upon highly by her people.

Question 7. Samaritans traced their roots back to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the fathers of Israel, but they could also trace their heritage to Assyria and Babylonia, among other pagan countries. Their worship, while incorporating a few elements faithful to the Jewish heritage, also included idol worship and other pagan, even sexual, rituals.

Question 8. As Jesus watched the women make her way to the well, he must have seen a wounded, bitter individual. Having experienced the pain of divorce not once but five times, and now living with a man, there must have been some abuse, a deep-rooted distrust of men, and resentment over an unhappy life. In addition, guilt must have played a big part in her life, evidenced by her avoidance of other women at a time when they would talk. At her core, she would have wanted acceptance and love, but most likely did not know how to receive either.

Question 9. Jesus’ approach with this woman is fascinating, a study in his expertise at understanding human nature. First, he addressed her directly by asking her for water, asking her so innocently that her first shocked response was that he should not be talking to her (v. 9). Then, every time he responded to her statements, he made seemingly off-the wall comments that salted her curiosity and kept her off-balance. He began by addressing her physical thirst, then he reached out to the longing of her heart for spiritual healing. He then proceeded to attack the single most important deterrent to her accepting his love—the fact that she had a difficult time with love. And then he drew her into discussion about God, finally identifying himself as her Savior. His approach all along was that he had what she needed, but instead of coming out and issuing ultimatums or holding up a sign like “Repent, the End is Near,” he drew her into deeper and deeper levels, until she was ready to respond. His motivation was to meet her deepest, most intimate spiritual needs.

Question 10. Jesus made bold claims about himself when he claimed to be a spring of living water, and that she would never thirst again if she drank from his “well.” The Samaritan woman would have heard several things: A reference to eternity in the word never. “Will never be thirsty” was in direct response to a yearning for meaning and hope that Jesus detected in her heart. “A spring of water welling up” is not a well that is difficult to access, but an accessible, rich, ever-bubbling spring. Jacob’s well, in contrast, quenched thirst only for a time, and it lay a tiring distance from town.
The living water lastingly quenches human cravings and is within us, inseparable from us. Thinking about eternal life in this way can be exciting and enlightening. How many people see their salvation in this light?

Question 11. In one sense, the answer would be no, people do not want to hear the life-changing message offered through Christ. And the evidence is pretty overwhelming; there’s rising immorality, destruction of the family, materialism and other problems, all occurring in a nation with free access to church and to Scripture. Yet the answer is also yes. Many people, like the woman at well, have tried everything but Jesus and are now looking for answers. Studies show that belief in the supernatural and in spiritual growth are on the rise. Now is a great time to consider the fields “ripe for harvest.”

Question 12. Allow people to give the name of someone they know who would benefit from knowing Jesus. At this point some may question whether we can judge others. Remind the group that it’s not about judging. We don’t want to be like the disciples who ignored those around them who may have been seeking.

Question 13. Go over each of the four ideas, discussing how they work and may fit into the life of your group. If you choose to adopt one or more of these ideas for the long term, then make sure that you follow through in a disciplined manner. For instance, if you use the empty chair, make sure it is at all the meetings and a focus in your time of prayer.

Question 14. Allow for updating of prayer requests and answers to prayer. If the group chooses to, pray intentionally for some of those named under question 12.

Study 5. A Connected Community. 1 Corinthians 12:12–26

Purpose: To help the small group explore its connection to the church or fellowship, a relationship ripe with opportunities for disciplemaking and service.
Overview: Many groups that use this guide will be part of an intentional, connected small group ministry that flows from the ministry of a local church or from a parachurch ministry. Neighborhood, work, affinity and parachurch groups may have members who belong to different churches. Other groups may be a bit more isolated, perhaps members of a troubled church who want to take part in a positive activity while “getting away,” or people who have no part in the local church. Even for these groups, exploring the issues of connection can be positive and challenging. The premise behind this session is that (excepting house churches) the small group needs the local church and vice versa.
Breakdown of group time:

           5 minutes Coffee
           15 minutes Opening (question 1)
           45 minutes Bible study (questions 2–9)
           15 minutes Personal application (questions 10–11)
           10 minutes Prayer (question 12)

Question 1. The first option involves a fascinating activity and discussion meant to illustrate how a body works. In order to do this activity, you must have blindfolds for each person and ten books laid around the room, and a group that numbers more than eight (four per team if you use teams). The second option is for smaller groups, or those for whom the first option is impossible or unnecessary.

Question 2. When it functions well, the church is interdependent, mutually serving and connected, like a body.

Question 3. This answer becomes obvious when a part of a person’s body is hurting. The body ceases to function as efficiently as it could. In a healthy body every part, no matter how small, must do its part well. Of course, every body part has something that it does well (a gift). What it does with its gift or function determines the health of the whole body.

Question 4. The first dysfunction is that a part of the body does not feel connected or useful. In many churches this is the norm with members, where the experience is that twenty percent of the people will work and give, while the other eighty percent won’t. Those eighty percent feel useless to the body. Yet this is not the way God intended it to be. Every part has a gift to bring, and the church’s strength is not in its homogeneity, but in its interconnected diversity. Not every part is meant to be an eye, or an ear. What kind of body is that? The temptation for your group may be to think of itself in isolation from the body, as if the rest of the body does not need its service. This is not the kind of “body” life that is healthy.

Question 6. The second dysfunction is that some parts consider themselves indispensable to the work of the body. This pride tends to isolate and destroy, not build and empower. In fact 1 Corinthians 12:22–23 challenges us that the most important parts are often those that tend to be lowly and unseen (the gift of “service” comes to mind). Your small group may believe that there is no good news in the church apart from the group or that you are the only people who know God’s will in the whole church. This kind of thinking is prideful and divisive, not nurturing and healing. In reality no part of the body can exist without the other parts.

Question 8. First Corinthians 12 challenges your group on two levels. First, to act as the body of Christ in a healthy and empowering way whenever the group meets. This can be done by affirming and challenging one another in growth and service. The second level involves your part and participation in the local church. Seeing yourself as a vital and enriching part of the local church will give positive and holistic structure to your ministry.

Question 9. Ways that small groups can help build the church include making disciples one person at a time, caring for members, taking disciple-making and member-care pressures away from the pastoral staff, feeding energized and trained disciples into the church’s leadership and service structures, enlivening worship as engaged Christians relate personally to God in daily life and in corporate worship, serving the church by visiting shut-ins and caring for people in need, and reaching out to the community through mission and evangelism.

Question 10. Reasons the small group needs to be connected to the local church include:
1. Small groups are part of the body of Christ.
2. Every part of the body of Christ is indispensable.
3. Small groups can help the church to grow by making disciples.
4. Individuals in the church need to be deeply loved, and small groups are the best means by which this occurs.
5. People need a place to test their spiritual gifts and service before focusing on the larger church.

Question 11. If you need some more concrete ideas, see the note for question 9.

Study 6. A Covenanting Community. Exodus 19:3–8; 20:1–21

Purpose: To help the group prepare its first group covenant as a positive guide for the future.
Overview. In preparation for this study, you may want to retype the covenant outline, making changes that personalize it for your situation. Be sure that everyone has a copy. As you do your covenant together, some may feel that certain parts are unnecessary. That may be true, but it will help you to be as thorough as possible whenever preparing covenants, especially early in your history when the group is more vulnerable.
Breakdown of group time:

           5 minutes Coffee
           20 minutes Opening (questions 1–2)
           25 minutes Bible study (questions 3–8)
           25 minutes Creation of group covenant (question 9)
           10 minutes Personal application (questions 10–11)
           10 minutes Prayer (question 12)

Question 1. This is a fun activity that allows group members to learn interesting and sometimes humorous things about one another.

Question 3. You may want to turn to the original covenant found in the first study.
This question is very important for several reasons. First, the original covenant was written for you and included features like the “empty chair” and ground rules for communicating with one another. By following some rules “religiously” and others not so stringently, you may be showing what is important to your group and perhaps exposing weaknesses. Second, to demonstrate that even when we want to follow rules, we often break them and sometimes hinder our group growth when we fall into bad habits. In fact, the premise behind writing a covenant is that since most individuals struggle with sin, groups will as well.

Question 4. God’s part in the agreement was that he would make Israel his treasured possession (19:5); he would make them a nation of priests (with special access to God) and a holy nation (19:6); he would punish those who turned their back on him (20:5–6); he would remember those who misused his name (20:7); he would bless those who honored their father and mother (20:12).

Question 5. The people promised their obedience to all that God commanded.

Question 6. Faith is always rooted in events in the past, so putting our faith in God means that we believe he has always acted consistently. In Israel’s case, he made them a people when they weren’t, led them out of Egypt, and protected them and provided for them as they moved through the desert to Sinai.

Question 7. Commands in the positive:

Commandment 1—I will be your God.
Commandment 2—I will be the absolute focus of your love and allegiance.
Commandment 3—You will revere my name.
Commandment 4—You will trust in my provision and demonstrate your love for me by taking a day out of every week to rest and put your focus on our relationship.
Commandment 5—You will honor your parents.
Commandment 6—You will value life.
Commandment 7—You will value the sanctity of the marriage vows.
Commandment 8—You will work for the good of others.
Commandment 9—You will use truth to edify and serve others.
Commandment 10—You will be happy with what you have and with what others have.

Question 8. God provided the “fireworks” because he wanted the Israelites to pay attention. Not just giving the Law, but how he gave it was important.

Question 9. Your group can either complete the covenant outline in the guide or create one for your own situation.

Questions 10. As before, allow for honest sharing as an affirmation of what this group has already done.

Arnold, J. (1995). Small Group Starter Kit: 6 Studies for New Groups: With Notes for Leaders (pp. 1–64). Downers Grove, IL: IVP Connect: An Imprint of InterVarsity Press.

SMALL GROUP STARTER KIT

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